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Integrating the experiences of the past decade

It’s not the experience itself; it’s how you integrate the experience that allows for the true transformation

For a lot of us, it feels easier to use our outgoing, ‘making things happen’ energy than to move within and truly relax. Even in the middle of winter – when nature shows us very clearly it’s time to be silent and move inward – we find ourselves frantically finishing deadlines, planning and organizing the perfect get-togethers, do our Christmas shopping in overcrowded streets and shops and partying the night away. It’s the beauty of the yang, or masculine energy we generally feel very familiar with. We seem to think this is where the magic happens, the change, the movement. We seem to believe that this is where we make our best lives happen. Whether we are just addicted to the feeling of outward movement, or we feel we need to work first in order to deserve getting the things that we want, I don’t know. What I do know is that most of the time, we completely miss out on the other side of the same coin: the integration of our experiences by deep relaxation.


When we do create space for relaxation, it often takes the form of complete passivity: lying on the couch binging Netflix and taking in lot’s of comfort food and/or alcohol. Nothing wrong with that, believe me, I love it! But we miss the point of what our system really craves: integration of our experiences. Integration of everything that happened INSIDE of our system. INSIDE of our nervous system. It’s not the actual life experiences, or successes of the past year that create change, transformation, or success in the year to come, it’s in how you integrate the experiences that makes the difference.

Making a strategy plan, or creating some new years resolutions is often as far as we get in planting seeds for the next year to come. But it’s the depth of our integration that will create the potential of the height of our next outward movement. It’s how deeply you can relax your nervous system that allows for the strength, power and impact of your next action. Sounds actually quite logical don’t you think?

How to integrate your experiences of the last year to make room for greater impact in 2020? Here are 3 steps:

Step 1: Breathe

Take time and space to deeply relax your nervous system. See if you can make yourself really comfortable, lay down somewhere where you won’t be disturbed, switch of your phone and take deep breaths in and out. Expand your breaths. Allow the breaths to move through your body. Allow your diaphragm to move up and down with your breaths. If you feel yourself working hard in your breathing, see if you can allow yourself to relax your breaths. Feel the air moving up and down and relax even more. Allow your belly to soften. Allow tension to melt away. Allow yourself to sigh it out. There is no end point to reach here, simply melt away in this relaxation and be surprised at the level of relaxation that is possible for you. Feel yourself letting go layer after layer after layer.

Step 2: Choose

While lying down and relaxing, think back of the experiences of the last year or decade. Remain aware of your body. See if you can allow yourself to breath deeply while reflecting on the experiences. Relax your nervous system in the memories, so to say.

Choose how you wish to integrate the experiences. Are you integrating them as failures and yourself as a victim of your experiences, or do you choose to integrate these experiences as teachers, allowing yourself to be part of your solution? Part of your expansion? This is your life, your story your choice: how do you choose to integrate these experiences into your nervous system? Allow your body to expand in the relaxation.

Tip 3: Intent

Within this fertile ground of relaxation you now created for yourself, allow yourself to open up to the immensity of possibilities that lay ahead. Allow yourself to turn your receptivity on: what do you feel guided to in the upcoming year or decade? What does your intuition guide you to? What is the intention you want to set for the next year or decade? Allow yourself to be truly receptive and creative here. Plant these seeds by breathing into them deeply and relaxing with them. You can even visualise you plant these seeds deeply into your belly.

 You can use these steps at any time, especially if you went through some powerful experience. Choose how to integrate the experience directly after the experience. Instead of beating yourself up and tensing your nervous system even more, choose to relax into the experience and see what the experience is showing you about yourself.

Just try it out and see what works for you! Your body knows, you know! I wish you a wonderful and loving integration of 2019!

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