‘Healthy habits’. ‘Practices’. I have such incredible resistance towards these words. Most likely because I have such a love & hate relationship with discipline and structure. I love it and I need it and at the same time I push against it like a maniac in my quest for freedom. So this isn’t a story about how healthy habits work their magic and how to sustain them. I am not going to state the obvious. You know, I know, we all know. I am not going to write about discipline and structure and planning and just do it. F that shit.
Rather, this story is about you. About us. About what we really are.
So here we go.
The first weeks of the New Year felt pretty tough to me. Energy wise. It felt like moving in slow motion. I felt tired, foggy and heavy. And yes, there was a full moon and it was the energy of January and everything is fine anyhow and it’s ok to not feel good. That’s all true. But I also knew I was just out of alignment. Out of alignment with my self. Not feeling as good as I could. And I know the ‘cure’. I know what works for me. It’s not rocket science.
What makes me feel good/better:
- Eat mostly fruits & veggies
- Fast in the morning
- Go outside, into nature
- Do breathing exercises
- Write (in my journal/or stories like this)
- Take inspired action
Super simple, works every time. I don’t have to do it all in one day, these are just some things that make me feel more aligned with myself guaranteed.
Things that make me feel bad/worse:
- Binge watching Netflix series with a dark or dramatic edge (almost all of them)
- Staying in bed too long (I love cocooning, but there is a tipping point)
- Drinking alcohol (because most of the time I just can’t sleep afterwards)
- Eat processed foods (same effect as alcohol)
I know this. And still. Even though there is no one but myself telling me to do or don’t do this, I rebel against it. I push against it. I feel I need time ‘off’ from the things that make me feel good, with things that make me feel bad. And I won’t go into the neuroscience behind it all, because again, we know it, intuitively. It get’s easier when we create daily healthy habits, or daily practices, because when things become automatic, we don’t have to get into discussions with ourselves all the time.
And my-oh-my, did I improve my habits over time through some hard work and daily grind. But it’s like one of my teachers said: the more you know how GOOD you can feel, the worse it feels when you are stepping away from that, when you are moving out of alignment with what you really are: pure expansive life force energy. The closer we get to what we really are, the bigger the contrast seems when we ‘fall of the wagon’. The game seems to get bigger the more we step up in our game.
As I am not in this game to make it difficult, instead of choosing even more rigid structures, let’s choose something different. Rather than push through, or against, convince ourselves with reason or with force, beat ourselves up for letting it come this far; instead of engaging in the existing energy pattern and therefore, giving this pattern even more life force energy, let’s step out of this game all together. Let’s choose something completely different!
Let’s focus purely, only, on what we really want. On what we really are. On our desired feeling. The feeling of alignment: of being in our body, of having a clear and open mind, of the tingling sensation, or vibration moving in our body. The feeling of excitement, of pleasure, joy, love. And instead of imagining that feeling as something we want to get hold of, we want to reach, we want to strive for and thus need to create a habit for in order to get THERE, let’s focus on the feeling/sensation right now. Feel it right now. Wherever you are. However you are feeling. Focus on how it feels to be alive right now.
In the end, it’s not about habits or practices. There are no practices really. There is nothing you need to do to be you. You ARE alignment. You ARE vibration.
And at the same time, there is no shortcut. There are things that work for us and things that don’t.
But instead of focusing on the habits, the discipline, the structure and the pattern of energy that you somehow created around it; focus on life itself. Focus on the aliveness within you. The aliveness that is you.
Instead of focusing on the practices, and how you can sustain them, focus on how they make you feel in the moment. Focus on what they show you about you. Focus on this ALL THE TIME. Whether you feel it clearly, or it’s in the background. Choose to see only this.
I promise you, the habits will come. Yóur habits will come. They have to. By law (of attraction). By focusing on the conflict and struggle, on the discipline and structure, this is what we create: more struggle. By focusing on the feeling that we desire, the feeling that we long for (instead of the lack of it), this is what we create. And anything that is needed for that simply enters our reality with grace and ease.
Yes, it might very well be that we need some habits and practices for the aliveness to arise in our awareness. Or it might be that we actually don’t need anything to be in alignment. It doesn’t really matter if we choose to subside the struggle.
The answer is in your focus. In your perspective. In your choice. Are you ready to rise up? To move your attention away from the game, towards what you really are? Energy in motion?